I hate your face
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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