I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize