We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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