So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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