You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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