I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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