Welp...herpes.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
