in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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