3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
