all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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