Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
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Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
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my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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