it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
