yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
