Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
