Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
