Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
