You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
