i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
