my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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