i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
