Dual....:-)
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
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looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
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Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm having to shit out rocks
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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