TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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