If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
