I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
