i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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