I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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