ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
