new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
