I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
