well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
