I can tuck mytits in my pants
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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