kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
i need some magic done to my vagina
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
that is very illegal...i love you.
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