drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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