i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
