just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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