I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
