I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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