i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
