listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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