people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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