Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
