I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
