No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
