pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
