Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
