she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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