I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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