I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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