This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I skipped work to stalk him.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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