So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
