Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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