Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
