found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
