I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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