She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
