got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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