at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
