:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
