"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
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there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
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He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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