Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
