HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
