...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
